Because of my job, I get to hear this response all the time from students and from friends. Usually, this statement is made with the underlying assumption that the person means that they don’t like whatever Job X they have and they would like to move on to Job Y. However, they don’t know exactly what Job Y should be, so thus they do not know “what to do with their life”.
Since I’ve had the exact same discussion in one form or another with many different people of different ages, I figured I would recount on my blog how these discussions usually go. Hopefully, this will help a lost soul to figure out what they want to do “with their life” or help someone who has heard this statement before to help another lost soul.
1) Stop complaining! No one likes to hear other people gripe about their job or their lack of life direction. Unless you’re 17 years old and have no income and no resources, complaining is extremely childish and indicates that you don’t actually want to do anything about your job search.
2) Instead of complaining, ask questions. Ask yourself, ask people who know you, ask people who work in the field, ask anyone. Good questions include: “what can i do with my major and/or experience?” “What do I like to do?” “What skill sets do I have?” Having some idea of what you are good at and what you like to do is a great start. Do not be vague and do not stop asking questions until you start getting real, concrete answers.
3) Take a step. Most of the people I know have some idea of what they’re good at, and some idea of some things they like, but they haven’t made that connection to a career path. For instance, the good communicator is stuck working at a computer screen all day in a dead-end job and doesn’t know how to get out. If you are stuck here, I advocate taking a step in one direction. Do you like photography? Buy a camera and start taking pictures. Do you want to be a nurse? Sign up for a CNA class. It doesn’t have to be a big step, but just take A step – this will do two things, it will take your mind off of this stuck feeling you have at the job/career path you hate and help you to figure out if this is something you want to pursue. Let me make one thing clear – I do NOT advocate large scale life change unless you are SURE this is the right direction for you. Don’t quit your job to start your own business unless you’ve laid all of the groundwork before hand. “Trust in God, but row away from the rocks”.
It’s a start. Trust me though, there are bigger things in life than your career – don’t let it drag you down too far.
“Right now this is just a job. If I advance any higher in this company, then this would be my career. And well, if this were my career I’d have to throw myself in front of a train.” Jim Halpert (the office)
Jeff, you are right on with this. And this is no easy message to receive if you are one of these people feeling stuck.
You know firsthand that I know you are right ~ from being one of those “stuck” people myself. I got discouraged and ended up dwelling, spiraling, into a wah-I-still-can’t-find-THE-job pit.
Well, I still don’t even have A job. At least not in terms of a paying career. But after some intense soul-searching, I’ve realized my job, for now, is to figure out those SPECIFIC interests and talents I have, just like you mention in your post, and how they are APPLICABLE to what I want to do/can do in my career. And, instead of whining and dwelling, I have a unique opportunity to build on my interests with my extra time and really find some concrete truths about myself instead of the vague BS. BTW, you are right. Exploring yourself makes you much more fun to be around than crying over feeling lost.
Ultimately, I just want to give you kudos galore for this post. I only WISH I had figured this out a few months earlier, and that someone who really NEEDS this message reads your post and is receptive to it.
Cheers, Jeff, to all the opportunities life has to offer!
Hi Jeff, your post is very timely for me too… thanks!
I have recently moved here in the US with my family.. I used to be employed but had to stay home to take care of our 2 kids. It’s not easy to be a stay at home mom after being in the employment force for almost 8 years. I am very thankful though that I have most of my time with my kids.
Now that we’re here, I have the chance to do what I want, but the problem is I don’t know what I want to do.. What I only know is that going back to a 9-5 job is not an option for me since I still need to be at home more often with my kids. The idea of having a home-based biz is what I need..
From your pointers Jeff, I’m very willing to do #3-Take a step but stuck with #2..
I would really need to figure it out so I could start the ball rolling.. Hopefully that will be very soon!
All the best Jeff!
Ashley, goodluck to us! may we find our true interest and succeed in it!
I am just now reading this post…interesting in light of my recent blog entries…Very good advice, Jeff. Point taken!
YOU are a fabulous writer!
CJ – my contact information is at the top of the page. I’d be happy to help if you’d like someone to chat with about your search!
Frankly, anyone who reads this post is more than welcome to contact me directly and I’ll be happy to talk them through their search and help if I can. I’m astounded by how many hits this post gets from literally all over the world.